Part-time bureaucrat wastes time on the internet
due South and associated hot Canadian actors help me to do this!
posted 1 year ago

Ladies and gentlemen of the Internet, may I recommend to you the Tumblr diet? In which you lose the baby weight by choosing from the following options in the precious 2-hour window between the children going to bed and collapsing in exhaustion yourself:

Option 1: waste half an hour AT LEAST cooking and eating a meal involving more than one food group. Then you’d have to wash up, eventually, which would waste another 10 minutes easy.

Option 2: skip that and go straight for wine and Tumblr and mainline all the slashy fandom goodness your body needs to sustain vital functions. 

Obviously I have gone for Option 2, which actually saves my family money as without proper food I need that much less wine to achieve the desired effect. It’s just win-win, isn’t it?

The only trouble is that my pre-Child 1 thin clothes are now hopelessly unfashionable. I set a bad example to my girls in many ways, but I must draw the line at bootcut jeans. I do have some standards, you know. Oh you didn’t? Well, I do. And bootcut jeans is my line in the sand. We’ve all got to stand up and be counted for something.

#am I a bad mother? #They'll thank me when they're older